Thursday Thirteen #3!

Thirteen Books I Should Have Written

1. Don't Lick the Mailbox in January. This book would be filled to the brim with fabulous humor and life-lessons such as, "Keep your stinky gym socks to yourself" and "Merely wearing a cape does not, a super-hero, make."

2. Why We Love 80's Music. This idea was blatently stolen from me by VH1 (not really) and turned into the wildly popular We Are The (80's, 90's, etc.) series.

3. How NOT to Put a 4-Year Old to Bed. Read more about this here.

4. What Really Happened to Jimmy Hoffa? I have my own theory that involves a house painter and cement :::wink, wink:::!

5. Crafting With Heather. I love to make things whether its painting, crocheting, drawing or sewing.

6. The Dump Cook. Sounds kinda gross now that I see it in writing. Anyhoo... this book would be filled with reciped that had measurements like 'handful' and 'three shakes'. That's how I like to do it.

7. Control Your Kids, PLEASE! I never would have written this before I graduated high school, but now that I am an adult I may go for it. HOW in the world can people let their kids do some of the things they do? Then, all to often, they stand behind the kid! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? If we did something wrong on the other side of town when we were little, you could bet your life that anyone who saw us would make us stop and holler at us. Then, when we got home, we'd get it twice as bad because our parents already knew. If my kids act up anywhere, I want to know about it and it will be dealt with for sure!

8. Do You Really Think You Look Good In That? I would fill this book with fashion tips such as, "If your earlobes are touching your shoulders, get a SMALLER pair of earrings!" Sheesh! WHAT are people thinking?

9. Don't Be Such A GIRL! I can't stand girls who are such sissies! Suck it up! Touching a worm, getting muddy and eating like you mean it are all things to relish. Life's too short to be such a wimp! You can still dress and be feminine without being a big sap.

10. How To Put Up Chirstmas Lights. Including chapters on 'why they won't stop blinking' and 'if you won't make the effort to reach the top of the tree, don't decorate the thing'.

Boy, after those last 4, I'm starting to sound bitter and grouchy. Really, I'm not.

11. Forts 101. Helpful tips for building forts in most any room of the house.

12. Cheap Floral Design. I have done flowers for several weddings (for family and friends as a gift) MUCH cheaper than you can get them anywhere else! It's not that hard and the prices the florists charge? Can you say RIP OFF?

13. If You Can't Be Happy, Be Content. Not everyone in the world can be happy all of the time, but at least be content with the good things in your life. Count your blessings for they are many.

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JohnH985 said...

Get writing, I want to see some of those books. Good list.

My 13 is up.

judeandelise said...

Great list...you are funny.

The Little Woman said...

Oh please let me be your co-author or at least number one fan... Someone so needs to write the cookbook and the parenting book - before I go nuts.

Raggedy said...

Great list!
I can so relate to #3. I stopped in and read the post. I have a 4 year old gir and we suffer here from many of the same things..at least I am not alone.
I really enjoyed reading your list.
Happy Thursday!
My TT is posted

Samantha said...

ROFL!! First off I love VH1! (So there! hehehe) Secondly, I would buy every single book (and would expect it to be a signed copy ;o) as soon as they hit the shelf! You are such a silly duck!

Stephanie said...

We could write the cook book together. Tim jokes that in 12 years of marriage he has never eaten the same thing twice b/c I make it different everytime! :)

XM also has decade stations. Tim just loves it when I put on the 80's! :) He prefers classic rock of all things!