The last week has been a good one. The kids are still excited to go to school in the morning (it is only the second week, though wink), work is going great for both Mike and me and we're all busy while still getting to enjoy some family time. Ahhh. Life is good.
I can say that now, but a couple of times this week I've run into some tense situations. Neither of which turned out the way I thought they would or should. As I think back on both situations, I am angry with myself for the way I reacted.
Let me try to explain.
The first situation involved work. I work for the local school district. I have a new job this year that I absolutely LOVE! I was so happy with the way things were working out because working this job allows me to still babysit (which I also LOVE), still be home to get my kids on and off the bus but still have some adult interaction (which is a sanity-saver for me). Who could ask for more?
So after 6 days of work, my supervisor asked me a few questions that left me wondering what she was eluding to. Being my supervisor, though, I had no right to ask why she wanted to know. She asks, I answer, leave it at that. Then, the Superintendent's secretary called me to set up a meeting with him the next day regarding my schedule.
I was upset. I linked the questions asked by my supervisor and the meeting with the Superintendent and I got all defensive. In my mind, I started to prepare and think about what I would say when confronted in the meeting. By the time the actual meeting rolled around, I had stewed myself into an absolute boil. I was hopping mad at the thought that anyone would just assume that I was lolly-gagging around at work and taking more time than I needed to.
I was pleasantly surprised when the meeting was actually to see if I was willing to take on some more responsibilities. Afterwards, though, I am ashamed of the way I got all mad and worked up about what I ASSUMED the meeting was about. I am usually the first person to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but I didn't even consider that it could have been anything but bad news.
The second situation was last night at Matthew's football practice.
There was a parent who was flat-out berating a woman. I suspect it was his wife or ex-wife because there was a little girl standing behind the woman bawling her eyes out while the jerk let loose on her. I have no idea what he even said or if what he said had a point because all I heard was "F" this and "F" that. There wasn't much content in between.
Now you can do and say what you want behind closed doors or even in your car, but when you are in the middle of a pee-wee football practice field with over 150 children under the age of 13, you need to have respect and choose wiser words.
Now as much as I wanted to run over this sorry excuse for a man when he walked in front of my car, I restrained myself. I did, after all, have my son with me and there were other children around for Pete's sake. Something I wish had crossed his conscience earlier- that is IF he even has one.
As soon as I drove passed him (glaring and shaking my head as he looked at me), I was upset with myself for not saying anything.
I know saying something to a low-life, loser who has no conscience and had steam shooting out of his ears as he humiliated a woman and her little girl could be dangerous. He obviously didn't care one iota that everyone within a mile radius could hear his rage and cussing. What would stop him from retaliating? BUT by letting him continue was just like encouraging him. I am just as bad for not standing up and asking him to have some respect for little ears as he was for polluting the air.
I am also a little miffed that one of the directors didn't say something to him. Somebody should have said or done something, but I can only control me. In this case, I controlled myself too much and let him just keep at it. What if he had been trying to take that little girl? What if he had hit the woman? Would anyone have stepped in then? I'd like to think I would have, but seeing how I reacted last night, I'm not so sure. That saddens me.
I feel better getting that out of my system. Now I can go back to counting my blessings and enjoying life.