Am I the Only One?
I start my day by waking up to Mike's alarm. I get out of bed and get the coffee maker going and put his lunch in his lunchbox while he gets dressed. We have a 3 minute coffee maker and he is generally walking down the hall before the coffee maker is finished. He heads out the door.
Even before his tail lights are out of sight, Matthew is out of bed. The next hour is spent starting the washing machine that I loaded the night before, getting Matthew's lunch packed, trying to catch the weather and a bit of news and letting in babysitting kiddos.
Matthew catches the bus and I wake Steven up. The next hour is spent getting Steven motivated to stop playing long enough to eat a decent amount of breakfast and get dressed. More babysitting kids show up. I somehow manage to get them all ready for the bus and out the door on time.
The next hour and a half is spent trying to get myself ready for work, feeding the dogs, making or answering phone calls, making an attempt to get my daily housework started and trying to catch the news and weather that I never got to see earlier.
After work, any of the work I did before I left is undone as all of the kids come home from school. The kitchen floor is desecrated, the tables are piled with school papers, the mudroom- ugh, I don't even want to think about wading through the mudroom- the bathrooms are spotted and fingerprinted up and everyone wants to talk about their day.
The evening continues with the same type of pattern as we trek from one event to another or work on school projects or projects around the house and the like.
My mind is always on the next task, but the thought flow gets disrupted easily and often. There is always something more pressing than whatever it is I have on my mind. There is always someone who needs something and they have no regard for what it is that I need to accomplish. The fact that I might actually have something else on my agenda is a completely foreign concept to them.
No one even thinks to ask me if I have something else to do or if I have the time to help/look something up/ do something for them. It is expected. Its all part of the 'Mom has nothing better to do' mentality.
I don't want to be crabby about it and I don't want to be the martyr who blows up and gives everyone the old "why me, boo hoo" speech. Besides being such an annoying whiny-baby thing to do and the fact that it goes in one ear and out the other, it makes me part of the problem.
I am a nurturer. I like taking care of people. I love that my kids can come to me for anything and I love that I am there for them when they do.
(Here it comes...)
... Now and then, I need a break. I dream about one weekend where we have nothing planned and nowhere to go. One weekend where we turn off the phone, lock the doors and I get to do exactly what I planned to do when I planned to do it. One weekend when the phrases, "Where's my __________?" or, "Can you __________?" are banned. One weekend when something I have cleaned STAYS THAT WAY for more than 30 seconds. One weekend when I don't have to ask for help either- someone sees that the laundry needs folded and just does it without wanting a shower of praise or a reward. Hey, I did say its a dream.
I know this is never going to be a reality and in reality, I'd probably be offended if no asked me for help. I'd feel obsolete if I wasn't asked to do something within about a 24 hour period. That's just how I am. Is it too much to ask for a little compassion? Is it too much to ask for some consideration?